Her name was Carson though we were nowhere near the city Where women make it getting naked to shake it for fifties She approached me fully clothed but spoke like any other stripper "How about a dance, baby?" "No, thanks. How about dinner?" It wasn't a joke - even if she giggled "It'd have to be a taco truck; cheap and simple." An obvious tom boy. Secrets swelled under skin like sandpaper I'm no damn savior. Just a fan/stranger Hoping to reverse the adverse affects her dad gave her I threw a smile that said I'd genuinely, Sincerely, Seriously love to take her A look, I'm sure, she was trained to ignore But a look she wasn't used to seeing Trapped in a trance of eyes eager to explore This look saw her core - I saw her human being A smile flashed seeing more than cash Sadly, it was all that was on her Doppler She furthered her rounds, on occasion sitting down Until a voice over the speaker called her Business men sat front row ready to throw dollars Most likely married men Wearing the very suits they'd be buried in Before rolling around in their squalor Blue collared squatters that wouldn't bother to call her if she offered Those fascist bores saw a fucking whore Nothing more than a sex symbol I saw hope. Heroism. Someone naked, naive and nimble I saw pain mixed with forgiveness. A sister, a mother, a daughter That night, I watched beauty bleed on the altar That night, I watched an honest woman born Torn between sobriety and society's norms Witnessed through eyes without a fool's vision As the child came alive and quickly died to Tool's "Schism." A whole life interpreted in a few short breaths A heart on the sleeve still beats Like that in an exposed chest As brave as G.I. Jane in the middle of a mess Fighting for the steady freedom of these heavy breathing pets. Set in her role: judge, jury and exhibitionist With a clean routine to those yet to grow indigenous I wasn't from L.A. - I was simply a tourist On a two month stay -to run away before my flower could flourish. But that night I stood stupefied Watching a human life - Human. Like you and I. - Crucified in lieu of light Us: the sheep. Her: the Shepard. Dead center with our eyes locked Stark naked and slowly breaking For our temptation so we could watch The second coming at the sake of sounding sacrilegious I felt time stop. Halfway between "too late" and a "bad decision" I approached her once it was over to find her acting different The dollar with my number on it was met with mechanical mannerisms Holding my hand, looking in my eyes like she loved me Promising she'd text, like I was nothing like the rest But it wasn't sincere. Only what I wanted to hear. She was only in it for the money. I thought "look, honey. I don't need your feigned affection." Even though my face showed confusion for a missed connection So, for a split second, I may have been in love with a stripper Her name was Carson Now I live in Reno Go figure.

[Verse] See the hairline cracks in her porcelain skin The little dimples and dents in her cheeks and chin An angel's kiss placed right above her lip Watching everyone walk by from the shelf she sits Subtle blue eyes, rosy red cheeks Perfect teeth hidden behind a perfect smile not to speak As she sits still in silence blinded by heavy eyelids Watching the world go by atop her shelf Never to be held - she wasn't made for play Only for display - if she ever fell, she'd break Then she'd be worthless to collectors and merchants that would only do the same And neglect her perfection in the same way Her fingernails painted a beautiful red Gorgeous brown locks pouring from her head With disdain growing behind pained eyes Wishing someone else was the prize instead In all her perfection she's not to be messed with When deep down she wants to be touched She wants to be hugged - she wants to be loved But no one will play with her For fear of breaking her So high on the shelf she remains That is her place for the rest of her days With her long distance gaze and pretty white gown Only to collect dust in the corners of her mouth And weigh that smile to a frown [Interlude] [Verse] See the smudges and scratches on her porcelain skin Inviting blue eyes accompanied by reluctance to even let you in Long eyelashes like bars on a gate Watching everyone walk by from the shelf she waits Observing and learning that the world isn't safe Played with a couple times acquired some cuts and scrapes Made for display; amazed she's yet to break But her shelf isn't that high Only about eye level where they set her It still comes as a big surprise When she doesn't break when she falls to the dresser But most dolls would probably crack from the pressure But not her. She may lose a piece or two but they just glue her back together She's never the same though Her face and frame look the same but something's changed Inside her eyes is something painful And that's why she'll play but isn't always playful That's why she'll play but isn't always graceful Sitting awkward on a shelf for a long time does have a disadvantage It has the potential to cause damage and throw one off balance So she sits slanted Watching the world in worry Knowing that she'll never understand it

[Hook] She's got all the symptoms No confidence in her system No one can see why she stays with him She says it love, I say she's a victim [Verse] You ask for mercy, I ask if you deserve it I mean, come on. Is my time really worth it to hear you piss and moan and beg for forgiveness? I've heard this speech a hundred times before I almost know it word for word I don't need to listen Oh, this time's different? Yup, right on cue You've seen the error in your ways, You wanna change and I wanna believe you You'll apologize in 3, 2, 1 Yup, there it is. Like you always do But who are you apologizing to: Me, who can't stand the sight of you Or yourself for slipping and ripping your life in two? You say things'll get better but they never do And ol' clever you manage to persuade me One minute you love and praise me Next minute you're fucking crazy Sounding off like you hate me Next day, you say you don't "it was just an episode" Excuses, excuses. Yea, here we go. Let 'em flow There's a lot on your mind, you're stressing so bad and you have trouble letting go My question is: which one are you lying to? Who you trying to convince? 'cause when you get pissed And say you hate me it really sounds like you do 'till you take it back tomorrow saying "I'd die for you" But you know what? One day I'ma call your bluff And put a fucking knife in you I used to say "I love you" 'cause I saw the knight under the armor shining through But now I picture myself knocking out those teeth you're always lying through I hate this side of you Now I lay awake nights from you -thinking how I can escape You sit there and promise change But I'm done fighting you You wanna do what's right for me But you should focus on what's doing right for you.. [Hook] x2 [Bridge] She hangs here in this prison By the thread of love she's given Wishing he'd change but he isn't She's got Stockholm Syndrome

[Verse] You want perfection? I see destruction Society serves as a wormhole It sucks to see you sucked in You must've got a concussion from descending heaven's steps You must've caught your lace and hit your effin' head You're hoping for a halo? You'll be lucky for a ring Keep acting like this. I won't change for the machine I can't date a robot. I can't see a thing Even a caged bird sings Your voice must be broken Choking on fresh air cause it's free You gotta be a key, a token to the gate I should poke you to make sure you're awake You sleep too much, dream too little And want what everyone has You've made that clear, Crystal Fistful of failures and shame on your breath It's a pain to watch you try gain anything from sex Don't trip. I won't look at you any less Here's a breath mint and some twenties Make sure I'm next [Hook] x2 Did it hurt? (Did what hurt?) When you fell from heaven It's not a pickup, it's a punchline On your search for perfection And just like the movies, everything's fake as fuck Maybe if I kill the green screen it'll wake you up [Verse] Go ahead, live life like everything's a travesty You're mad at me 'cause you can't see the pageantry? I'd send you an invite to the laughing tree but you're so high on your branches you'd probably laugh at me Glad to be the last to see Ms. "Beauty Queen" Try her way into a movie scene You won't get the part You may have all the looks but you don't have the heart Ugly duckling was a swan all along Now the duckling's is sucking her way to the top You won't earn the spot You'll get dropped from the list On the train tracks tied at the ankles and wrists There's something wrong with this: It's been done before By struggling actresses that come before Nowadays, it's not enough to possess skills and traits They want chicks with looks, Chicks with hooks willing to raise the stakes That'll stop at nothing Like they cut the breaks If you don't catch the drift They want you suck dick and take one to the face So most never make their debut and do porn flicks [Hook] x2 [Interlude] [Hook]

[Verse] I bought her flowers today.. she deserved 'em No special occasion other than she earned 'em She's a hell of a woman to stay by my side After I full on rage with that crazed look in my eye I try to do better - I swear, I really do But she and she alone knows the truth I'm not gonna change 'till I see my issues 'til then, I'm in denial seeing what fists prove Not much. But I continue to clutch Continue to clench All I see is red 'til red drips from her head and I stop. Shocked at what I've done "It'll never happen again" [Hook] "I'm sorry, so sorry" - ringing in her ears "I'm sorry, so sorry" - won't wipe away her tears "I'm sorry, so sorry" - won't help suppress her fear "I'm sorry.." - lies told to her for years [Verse] I bought her flowers today.. and some chocolates Last night was bad. We argued and she just wouldn't drop it I tried to keep calm but I lost it and wailed on her 'til she begged me to stop it Fuck! What the hell is wrong with me? Do I find comfort in the dark side - swallowing me Calling to me - waiting for a response? With my short fuse it doesn't take long I don't smoke, I don't drink, I have no other vices but these fits of rage render me blinded It's like I black out After last night, both her eyes are black now Three broken fingers and cracked floating rib Then the choke marks I hope no one notices Told the doc we have rickety old steps And as she slept on bed rest, I said "I'm gonna change, babe" And kissed her on the head [Hook] [Verse] I bought her flowers today.. the biggest day of my life I bought the best bouquet around the way for my wife Not to say "sorry" - I've truly changed It took time to find but I can't stay Don't ask how I'll manage I want you to know I finally understand Last week I did the most damage to my baby done and realized I'm the crazy one Those nights weren't worth the seizures and medical procedures, fees, nose bleeds, scrapped knees or lesions Love don't throw fists for any reason And I'm sorry for it never being even I don't know what to say except "I'm sorry" I hope that that's okay I promised to change too many times "Goodbye, babe." I'll put these flowers on your grave

The kid never had a chance.. Check his train tracks to decipher a hiker's path At first glance, they scorn like a magnifying glass With no recollection of a past They pass on the looking glass But not to look. They use it for cooking ants Yea, that's fair. Set fire to the ant hill Leave him so scared he'll just stand still Another flower down the drain - awesome Plucked and cut before it even got to blossom Which is worse: weighing in or watching? In retrospect, they're the only two options Would you rather stomp him Or be the pussy that didn't stop 'em? Use caution. He played possum during hide n seek and they fucking forgot him Sick to my stomach that I fucking did nothing and sat back I may as well help put the cheese in the rat trap Sitting in silence to be broke by a fat "snap!" Then jump back and act all surprised? Naw, fuck that. Unlike these guys, I'm not blind by lies So let me apologize in advance The kid never had a chance And there's blood on my hands no matter what Spattered blood Cause I didn't back the bastards up And scream "he's had enough!" Story's sad enough but will it tell? Live life in a shell only to sell when the leaves fell If I believed, I believe I'd see hell But this is hell: having to live with the smell It's a sad fact for such a bad rap Did I ever care? And it pains me to ask that Truth hurts. It's a harsh weight to carry with a bad back If I believed, I wouldn't wanna be absolved Only remembered for treating it like nightfall: "It happens everywhere. We've all got problems. It'll solve itself. One person won't stop it." And this is where I sympathize with the possum 'Cause him and I have this in common Both playing dead 'till the threat is gone and over with Almost comatose 'cause the truth is too sobering But what happens when a possum plays so long it's no longer play? Spending too much of the day in that vegetative state Try to recall memories from childhood and draw a blank Eventually, he's gonna start wishing it wasn't fake Hope and pray without answers, gradually lose his faith Start filling up with hate, knowing the world isn't safe How much can a poor possum take? Before he's in a motel and the sex and drugs aren't enough? Closed drapes. And his only escape is a .38 Suicide note wrote with the utmost of truth Saying his options ran out with no choice but to shoot He blames you and only you with no sign of excuse And offers his blood, brains and body... as the proof [Outro] I now know what it is that Jesus did when he died for our sins Maybe to "absolve" is to "absorb" as well He just sat back and felt guilty about not stopping the sinners around him Which, in his eyes, became his sins too

"I take his weapons away...both of 'em." If someone's raped is that a test of faith? Good things happen to bad people and vice verse everyday Who's to blame for the injustice that takes place? Lying in wait; crouching tiger, Liar in dire need of restraint So much blood spilled disguised as red paint Fate has an ugly way of twisting citizens positions 'til their vertebrates break And evilness invades Scruples are fucked nowadays It's all about getting bitches and getting paid Getting riches and getting laid So it's no surprise when a friend of mine gets raped Whether blacked out or passed out drunk It really sucks that drunk girlfriends gotta rely on me So they won't get fucked by these products of a fucked up society And I can't be in two places at once -to protect 'em from these fucking chumps They should be able to fucking trust! Driven by lust and their overpowering, cowardly urge to bust nuts When it's quality vs. quantity anybody's bound to get fucked Thus, these punks and chumps are chimps seen as pimps Walk with a limp 'cause I shot you in the hip, motherfucker Talk with a lisp 'cause I socked you in the lip, motherfucker You think you're slick, don't ya? Getting your kicks from taking advantage of chicks It's a sand trap, sucka. You better start thinking 'cause you're sinking quick All to prove your place among all the other swinging dicks To them, you may be seen as "pimp" But to those that matter, you're seen as "BITCH!"

[Verse] Daddy didn't play well with her insecurities And mommy blamed her for the scars and lost dreams School was a bitch and she could never sit still With bi-polar tendencies, an addiction to her pills She made every excuse to cut and starve Her petite body would never digest carbs Ribs bleed through skin that's ruined by the sun Because she hides in the closet until winter comes You wouldn't think she was thin from the swelling in her face And bruises act as eyeliner for any given day Screaming as become music to her ears As blood drips from her wrist to wash away the tears Cigarettes and wine help put her demons down But at night when she rests boogeymen make their rounds [Interlude] [Verse] She awakes to cold sweats from sleepless nightmares Neck wet, deep breaths, pillow littered with pulled hair She'll never forget, never forgive what the world's done She thinks happiness only comes for pretty ones So now she's dolled up and as plastic as a mannequin Used, tossed aside then back on the rack again Dusted and polished and clothed with impurity For the half-off tags on her back to prove worthy "Someone please help" as she faces another foe Only this one has her bent over with a muzzle to her nose "So help me god, if you try to scream or cry I'll light up your face like the fourth of July." [Interlude] [Verse] The night ends with her lying in the alley Playing a symphony with her dagger Two weeks later, she missed her time of the month Knowing all too well the man that got it done Does she keep it or does she kill it? Her mind full of clutter Realizing she's taken on the life of her mother Her greatest fear is waking up another day So she sits in her corner writing a suicide sundae [Bridge] A knife across my wrist for all of daddy's rage A handful of pills for each bi-polar phase A noose around my throat to still my nerves A bullet through my ears to silence mommy's words 200 feet to the ground to please the punks in junior high 40 gallons and a battery to light up the sky One step from a curb for every beating undeserved A lake and a brick for every year on this earth [Outro] Ultimately, she would put her dagger through her ribs So's to kill herself and Prince Charming's kid Now she lay peacefully, bleeding out relief and pride For this world proved too much for the alleyway's bride